


Antics

by EllieRose101



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 21:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15300273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieRose101/pseuds/EllieRose101
Summary: During the sexcapades of Season Six, Spike tries to surprise Buffy at her house only for things to go awry and him to be the one ending up with a shock.





	Antics

One Shot 

As Spike walked up the back steps to Buffy’s house, he heard a scream that had him breaking into a run. In full combat mode, he burst through the door and looked around to see where the danger was only to lay eyes on Dawn standing atop a kitchen stool with a spatula in her hand.

“What is it?” he demanded, still not seeing anything, even with his advanced Vampire eyeballs.

“R-r-rat!” said Dawn, shaking so much he thought she might fall.

“Oh.” He shook off his bumpies, closed the door and leaned against the frame. “Is that all? Damn, you had me half scared to death. Or, more to death. Really, you gotta stop doing that.”

“Will you shut up?” Dawn yelled. “Help me, please!”

Spike sighed. “Right, well, where’d it go?”

“Under the counter, maybe. I’m not sure.”

Rolling his eyes, Spike removed his duster, ready to sniff out the offending creature – literally. It was not how he envisioned his night going. Dawn was supposed to be at a sleepover, for one thing. It was why he had decided to stop by and wait for Buffy to return from her shift at the Doublemeat Palace so he could jump her bones. In his mind’s eye, he saw her coming home feeling rotten – as she always did – and finding him stretched out, naked, on her bed. That’d cheer her up, wouldn’t it? Well, not if he couldn’t sort the rodent problem first.

Crawling about the kitchen floor on his hands and knees, he snatched up the rat and was ready to break its neck when the Witch entered and froze him in place with a spell.

“Bloody hell,” he exclaimed, through lips that physically couldn’t move.

“Sorry,” said Willow. “I just reacted. You were gonna kill Amy.”

“Amy?” Dawn questioned.

“Yeah, didn’t you recognize her?”

“I, well… no. I was kinda busy, what with the screaming. Hey, Amy!”

Willow plucked the rat from Spike’s hand, released him from the spell, and Dawn climbed down off her perch to stroke the rodent’s head with her index finger.

Spike looked at all three of them incredulously. “Bloody mortals. Put something scary in a cage, call it a pet, and hey presto it’s no longer scary. Screw logic.”

“You’re one to talk,” Dawn teased.

“I’m not caged.”

“More like whipped?”

“Dawn,” Spike warned.

“What? It’s true. You’d totally do anything for Buffy.”

Spike’s eyes narrowed. “How about I let Amy here have the run of the house again?”

“Okay, okay. Fine,” said Dawn, moving into the hallway to pick up her backpack. “I’m off. Tell Buffy I said bye. Oh, and Spike?”

“Yeah?”

Smirking, she exclaimed, “You’re _totally_ whipped,” as she closed the front door behind her.

“Annoying little chit,” Spike groused before looking up at Willow.

“Uh, hi,” she said, brow furrowed. “Why are you here?”

Spike tried for his most convincing face. “Me? Oh. Umm… I was walking past and – and I heard Dawn scream.”

“Right, of course. Well, help yourself to a drink, or whatever, I’m going to put Amy back in her cage and figure out how she got out in the first place.”

“Good call,” said Spike, relieved he’d gotten away with it. He was actually gonna call it a night, seeing as Willow was home, but then _she_ started screaming from upstairs and he bounded up after her to see what was wrong.

“Spike, kill it quick!” she yelped, pointing to a spider in the corner of her bedroom.

He stared at her. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“No, Spike, please,” she pleaded. “Before it moves!”

Spike only stared harder at her. “Bloody hell, you coulda vaporized the soddin’ thing ten times by now.”

“Oh.” Willow blushed. “Oh yeah.” She flicked out her wrist to release a small flash of blue that flew past Spike’s head and dealt swiftly with the insect. “Forgot about that. Logic kinda flew out the window, y’know?”

“Will you watch it with yer sparks?” Spike snarked. “You coulda singed my hair.”

“Sorry,” she said; though between her still pink cheeks and relieved smile, Spike didn’t really buy it.

“Whatever. I’m gone,” he said, making his way downstairs again. “If you need anything else, do not call me.”

Outside, he smoked two cigarettes, complained quietly about his night being ruined, and then stalked home… only to find a naked Buffy in his bed.


End file.
